The twelve days of Christmas -- revisited!

"The Twelve Days of Christmas," or "All Men are Jackasses During the Holidays and the Rest of the Year"

(written and performed by Beth M. and Curtis W.)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, this jackass gave to me...

...twelve stood-up dates,

...eleven ambigious e-mails,

...ten cold shoulders,

...nine mixed messages,

...eight used rubbers,

...seven missed calls,

...six toilets to puke in,

...five hostage CDs,

...four Polish vodkas,

...three warm beers,

...two battered egos,

...and one blank SMS back!