An American in Prague

"Life is change...death is dwelling on the past, or staying in one place too long."

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Instructions requested!

Don't you wish life came with a book of instructions sometimes? I spend insane amounts of time worrying about major life decisions. It's been driving me crazy. I guess it's weird to be in this chapter of your life. As an adolescent/teenager, you're expected to go to school...after that, you're expected to go to college...and after that, then what? Culture would have us believe that adulthood means that should land some an incredible job with incredible benefits, a beautiful house with a white picket fence and of course some amazing spouse.

But what if your path isn't so linear as that? There's no longer a guaranteed "next chapter" in place, like there was before. I spend so much time thinking, "Did I make the right decision in that situation? Would things be different if I had done this? Did I sabatoge this relationship or burn a bridge by doing such-and-such? Was it worth it in the end?"

A friend of mine and I were recently conversing on this topic. The focus of my stress lately has been "career-career-career," and "resume-resume-resume," and I know that it's made me considerably more irritable -- and, unfortunately, maybe a bit more self-involved -- than usual. She assured me, "Be grateful you don't have all of your important decisions already made at 27. Every moment for you is pregnant with possibility." Granted, that's easy to say...harder to accept. I'm not naturally a ruthless, cut-throat kind of person...but I want to have aspirations.

As soon as you choose one option, another one goes away. However, I have been trying to accept the fact that "real life" requires a lot of trial-and-error. You make a decision, you hope for the best...if it doesn't work out, you pick up the pieces and move on. I've heard it said that our failures in life are just as important as our successes. OK, so maybe I could've done things differently in certain areas. But don't we always make the best decision for us at any given time, based on the information at hand?

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